6:23 p.m. - 2015-11-16
As summer changes to fall and the Christmas season comes upon us again, I think of all the changes that have happened in my life since last Christmas. I remember our Christmas eve car ride to Ben's sisters. I remember looking at the stars in the sky and listening to my mother in law in the back seat and thinking, listen to her now, for she won't be here next Christmas. And it came to pass. That little lady that loved her family so very much left this life on March 7. Leaving a void that will be hard to fill this Christmas season.
My mother, who always has been a total pain in my side, who I never believed loved me from the second I was born, and at times, have even wondered if she could have possibly really given birth to me, became ill and dependent on her children to take care of her. Which, as we all know, falls to the hands of the daughter.. It's hard to watch someone have to give up their independence. Lose their memory of the things that have meant so much to them over the years. Oh, she covers well, but I know those grandchildren, that she loved in her own way, are becoming harder and harder to remember. I vow to try to have more patience...I vow to try to be a good daughter, and I will try to give her time. Maybe in time, She will love me.
But, in all the bad times, I've also had good, the love of my grandchildren is the perfect medicine for those melancholy times. I love those two more and more everyday. I would wrap up the world and give it to them if I only could.